Welcome to 24(it's been waiting for you)

Well, I made it! Level 24. What a ride it's been this far. 

So, in turning the page on 23, I went out and celebrated with some new and old friends last night and it was much needed. 

At one point, we all decided to make predictions on what I was going to do in my 24th year being alive. Some were a little nuts(skydiving?! Ahh) and others were just hilarious(crashing a wedding) but it really got me thinking about what want to do for myself over the next twelve months. 

So, I compiled a list.

1. I want to go back to school. Get my head back in the game toward a teaching degree and really buckle down with my education. I always saw myself as an elementary teacher and over the years I have put my dream on the back burner to give priority to other aspects of my life but now I'm ready to make myself a priority. Which brings me to number 2.

2. Don't forget to have a good time. I have given up on a lot of things over the past couple years to start a family and though I love my daughter with everything I have, I gave up on making me happy. I let go of being silly and creative and most importantly, I gave up on making myself smile. this year I want to get that back.

3. Surround myself with people who are supportive of my dreams and goals and vice versa. It's hard to follow your dreams when you feel like no one is really rooting for you to win. Not that they're rooting for you to loose but they're just sort of indifferent when it comes to your dreams. I am guilty of doing this myself. I am a mother so I have this automatic "mother knows best" mentality about everyone and everything and I think that's because I haven't surrounded myself with many people who lift each other up. I want to step away from "knowing best" and devoting myself to other humans that know what they want and can support me for knowing what I want.

4. This one is going to be tough...I don't want to let the past define me. I want to end my 24th year knowing that I have faced and forgiven all of my demons. I want to make peace with the past and not let it define the person I am but instead let it help hoist me up into being the best version of myself I could ever be. 23 was a hard year full of betrayal and huge life changes, this is my baggage I will carry around with me for the rest of my life but it's not something that will make me who I am, it will be something to show others how well I can overcome life's obstacles.

And last but not least...

5. I want love. Honest to goodness love. Heart bursting at the seams, love you even when I hate you, let you have that last slice of pizza love. I want to meet someone who I don't have to change me to fit in with. Someone who can look at my flaws, and the baggage I carry and will think I am perfectly imperfect. A lot of this will also be about me also learning to love myself because no one can love me unless I love me(that's been my major downfall for years) Being number 5 on the list means it's not a priority to be achieved by the time I turn 25, you can't put a deadline on love. But it's an all around life goal for me. 

I am very glad for the friends I already have and the ones I have yet to meet and to those of you who decided to step off of the ride at 23, I'm sorry but 24 is where it really gets good. ;)